| The Family Stone |
| By Greg Garner |
| Recently I was subjected to a very bad cinematic experience. Over the holidays I was in the mood for a screwball comedy. I had seen the ads for "The Family Stone", and it looked to be just what I wanted. I went into the theater thinking I was to be mindlessly entertained, and then was subjected to nearly two hours of a badly scripted, badly acted, depressing Lifetime-esque disease-of-the-week chick flick. I felt horribly cheated. Instead of the "fish out of water" laugh fest that was promised, I was forced to watch a mother dying of breast cancer. So fun. So Yuletide. Blecch. This movie reminded me of why I don't go to movies anymore. They lie. Why did they pretend this movie was funny? Why didn't they say right up front that "The Family Stone" was a maudlin soap opera. Because they have no morals, that's why. They are big fat immoral liars. Let us contrast this shameless immoral advertising with a porn title I saw today. The name of the movie is "Piss, Piss and More Piss". I submit that this movie is morally superior to 'The Family Stone" because it tells you right up front, proudly, and without subterfuge, what it is about. I do not want to watch this movie. Do you know why? Because it is about Piss, Piss and More Piss. That's why. And I know that without having to sit through it, watch it or be disgusted by it. Unlike the "The Family Stone". |
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