America's Next Top Boring Reality Contestants

Americaâs Next Top Model premiered tonight on The CW. As a fan of reality TV, I just had to watch. I normally only watch Top Model when it airs in marathon blocks on VH1, but Iâve become so addicted to all the anorexic catfighting that I had to watch from the very beginning this time.

The show began, as usual, in the most Tyra-centric way with Tyra Banks emerging on a stage in front of a sea of applauding clones. In case that wasnât enough, the house where the girls live is literally filled with giant pictures of Tyra. Could she be more in love with herself? I doubt it. Through out the show, there were several instances where everyone sat around praying at the shrine of Tyra. For example, when one Indian contestant began crying about the way cultures value certain beauty traits, Tyra pretended she was Oprah and offered the girl some completely clichŽ ãmeaningfulä advice. It seems that every girl had some sob story and only Saint Tyra could guide them through their struggle. When did Americaâs Next Top Model become Queen for a Day?

The best part of Tyraâs self-righteous ranting is the blatant contradiction. She rejects one contestant for being a stripper, then assigns the girls a nude modeling task for their first photo shoot. Of course, Tyraâs flunkies defend the choice saying, ãThereâs a fine line between sleazy and classy.ä This show really sends a great message: demonize one girl for taking her clothes off for money and then badger another when she doesnât want to get naked for the camera. Apparently itâs ok to do anything as long as Tyra orders you to.

Watching the rejects on this show makes me anxious for the new season of American Idol. The rejected models lack any charm or novelty like the booted freaks of Idol. No one stands out and all the models look and act the same. In fact, Iâve never seen such a bland and boring crop of ãmodelsä. Normally, when a show begins a new season, they try to top the previous years. On Top Model, weâre watching another season of mediocrity with the same generic reality TV characters that appear in every show. Thereâs the bitchy girl, the crazy rocker chick, the insecure ugly duckling whoâs really a swan· sorry, I almost fell asleep just now thinking about it. This show offers nothing new; it brings nothing to the table. There is nothing fresh, exciting, captivating, or original about it. Itâs the same formula, but with even more boring characters.
Instead of watching skinny girls cry about how life is so hard for them, Iâd rather watch skinny people eat bugs and try to build a fire. Stick with Survivor for your reality TV guilty pleasure this season.

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